Rhythms or Bust

I was the crazy mom.You know, that mom you always have to have things just so, is obsessed with getting their babies on a schedule and will lose her mind if you ruin that schedule on her.Ok, I still am that mom but I promise, I am much nicer and less likely to kill you now.Here's the thing, motherhood didn't fall into my lap naturally. Out of all honesty, I remember weeks and weeks and weeks going by before I finally looked at my sweet baby Maverick and felt love. Mostly I felt regret, exhausted, anger, jealousy, and sometimes, downright dislike. That's a horrible thing to say about a precious little baby that relies on you for life it's self but it's the truth.I think it took my husband all of 3 days to realize I wasn't going to handle this whole motherhood thing well and onto the google he went.Side note - can we all just give a round of applause to those husbands who can't really do too much other than emotionally support us during those first few months (especially if your brestfeeding) and all we do is a bite their heads off and yell. Thanks for sticking with me!Anyways, because Google is the parenting expert my husband suggested we start routines, specifically at nighttime, because kids crave routine and security. Well, I am not quite sure he knew what he was suggesting because routines became everything.Everything.I could not deviate and, at the time, I believed I was working a job that did not allow or value such routine and structure in the home. So, my routines lessened by stress but birthed a whole new set of anxieties.Again, motherhood did not come naturally to me. It was a steep learning curve and at the bottom of that curve lied some of the worse moments of my life - fighting, yelling, screaming, hitting and repeat.What saved us? Jesus, Iris, and rhythms. (and you don't know who Iris is; click here to go read a little about that)Although Jesus is the most important subject of this story let me tell you a little about rhythms and why you may need them in your life.Rhythms to my family had one simple purpose - to point us back to Jesus.Those sleepless nights with tears, screams (mine, not Maverick) and pure heartache, Jesus was there. I didn't think He was because there was chaos all around me, but He was there, I know He was.Those long days when teething or work or a million commitments had me pulled in 6 different directions Jesus was there trying to draw me back to the things that matter.Rushed mornings focused around getting through the day and chaotic evenings just trying to have a second to myself, yup, I ignored Him but Jesus was still there.He was there, the whole time, telling me to ride the wave with Him and focus everything, even the hard stuff back on Him and His promises.We are complex creatures us, humans. We like to do it our own way, we “life hack” our way through Pinterest trying to figure out how to make packing lunches just a little easier or getting our kids to sleep through the night (spoiler alert - nothing works). When in reality, God wired us to be slow, intentional rhythmic humans who make time for the things that matter, sacrifice our personal desires and focus everything on Him.Somewhere along the way, we decided that slow was wrong and working less meant you were a failure. We decided that our worth lied in how many hours we could work in a day, how many commitments we had and how chaotic our day planners looked. We wear the busy badge proudly as if the busier we are the more worthy we are to others. When in reality, the busier we are the more worthless we are to others and to God.Success is not numbers or positions or kids who can sleep through the night.Success is faithfulness. Period.If you end each day and only check off the boxes love God and love others then your day was a success.When we create rhythms for our days, weeks and years and faithfully participate in the rhythms we start to learn that there is a whole bunch of clutter in our lives, clutter that we put there, clutter that others put there and clutter that is not at all honouring to God.Rhythms force us to focus on things that matter and get rid of things that don't (and the things that don't matter may surprise you)As hard as it is friends, what others think of you doesn't matter. How others tell you to function is probably not right. How those that have gone before us "did things" is not always the way we should follow. The one and only voice we should worry about is His.  And the hardest lesson - when we move closer and closer to Jesus it often looks like you are a failure to the world.Our personal and family rhythms did a lot for us, it took us a long time to figure them out too. Rhythms saved my mothering, my wifing but, most importantly, they saved my relationship with God and all good things flow from that.Sit down and create a simple rhythm today that will benefit you and your family and then watch how God invades your priority list............................................................................I will put together a more detailed blog about what exactly our rhythms look like but here is what our Breakfast Rhythms look like;I do my own morning routine before everyone gets up and then start breakfast (most days we do a full toast and eggs or pancakes breakfast so the boys are nourished and ready to go)

• We sit at the table together every single morning (because table time is important)
• We read our Breakfast Benediction
• Everyone gets a turn saying grace
• We usually try to do some type of devotion (advent readings during Christmas)
• Eat together
• Then upstairs to get dressed and brush teeth before playtime and out the door

We start our mornings nice and early so there is no rush, the boys' know exactly what happens, and we leave feeling full (physical and spiritual) and connected. Simple but super meaningful. There is almost no need to every interupt that rhythm (yes, there may be some circumstances that change it) and when these type of things become a priority, saying "no" to other things gets a little easier.............................................................................Now I know there are people out there who are saying "rhythms, pfff, that's just the new hot word that everyone is jumping on". Or maybe you are thinking your life or job is too busy or different or hard to manage (I thought that too) and to you I say this; Read your Bible, specfifically the Gospels, and notice how Jesus lived, his patterns, his habits (or rhythms), how he often got away from it all or even said "no" to certain invatations and then ask youself this; aren't we suppose to live like Jesus?He came to give you life to the fullest. That doesn't mean busy. That doesn't mean we are always hustling. That doesn't mean we are to sacrifice the things that matter in the name of "doing His work or ministry". That means He wants us to follow Him and then Be still long enough to know that He is God.